"Delicious" doesn't do justice to this pie. It can fully heal a hero in the midst of combat, and it actually makes you lose weight instead of gain it! As if that weren't enough, the special combination of magical spices give you a hefty experience bonus.

This bland, portable pastry has all the fat of a regular pie with half the flavor.

If the meat seems a bit sparse, take smaller bites.

A little dented and worn, this pre-owned pie is a good starter pastry.

It doesn't taste like good crab, either.

Tastes like being the last person to know about a party.

Staring transfixed into the indigo glow, you gain a deeper understanding of the universe.

Humanity's first disobedience: Definitely the best one.

The soft flaky shell cna barely contain the divine cuts of tender beef stuffed inside.

Reminds you of childhood. Not yours, obviously. A good childhood.

The term "savory" was never so ironically applicable.

Salutary and delicious, it's enough to stop you from wondering whose home it was swiped from.

Some people consider this fatty meat pie a delicacy. And that's very sad.

You can eat around the worms, but remember they're thinking the same thing about you.

The blueberries in this pie are so sour they're more likely to dissolve your teeth than turn them blue.

If you see this mouthwatering pie and fret about weight gain, you need to reexamine your priorities.