It's not just a sassily lowbrow ber name. It's also the ingredient list.

Cocktail of tabasco sauce, salt, and possibly paint thiner.

It is said that the feet of those treading poisonberries to make this wine are apt to turn gren and fall off. On the other hand, if you don't mind a bit of rotgut and blindness, it will get you drunk fast.

Will leave you as strong and healthy-looking as this gelatinized cube of compressed sheep part.

Nothing elevates you in the eyes of your peers like being seen gnawing a cut of truly rank jerky.

The term "savory" was never so ironically applicable.

Evenly proportioned, almost hedonistic Voignier. Opens with pork rind, hairspray, and hints of anise.

This low-quality beer will coat your mouth with a bitter sheen of sadness. Best imbibed only after following several other drinks or a swift blow to the head.

Developed long ago by enterprising sailors who found that they could not drink sea water, the effects of this combination of rum and water are not unlike those of a burly boastswain punching you in the face.

Paper thin with plenty of fat.

You could use it as bait if only other fish were dumb enough to find it appetizing.

It'll keep longer than you will.

This brew has been getting the population of Albion drunk for centuries.

Despite its unappetizing name, this liquor has been immensely popular thanks to its affordability and the relatively few cases of blindness it has been known to cause.

Hints of vanilla, touches of oak and whispers of fruity jam are purely imaginary in this bog-standard claret.

This fatty dish contains no actual chicken. One more reason they deserve chasing.

Anyone can fight balverines. The Truly adventurous scrimp on seafood.

A passable table jerky, it tastes vaguely of salted meat.

If the meat seems a bit sparse, take smaller bites.

You can eat around the worms, but remember they're thinking the same thing about you.

The blueberries in this pie are so sour they're more likely to dissolve your teeth than turn them blue.

Caught off the coast of Westcliff, where its bountiful presence should ensure it never goes extinct.

Surprise, it's port.

One would be able to detect hints of raspberry, honeydew, and marmoset with one's nose, if one was a pompous ass.

Make yourself drunk. Make others drunk. What not to like?

The sensory experience of this exotic, spiny fruit has been likened to 'custard passed through a sewer pipe' or 'eating one's favorite ice cream while sitting on the toilet.' The juice is not much better.

This water has a rather sludgy consistency and smells faintly of eggs. You'd better be thirsty.

Improves your Will and instills in you an inexplicable desire to swim upstream.

Mighty taste for mighty body. Fatty cuts for a... you get the idea.

Mystery Meat

Cows must submit to years of training and rigorous study to achieve organic jerkyhood.

This foul melty goo is not technically cheese, but you'd be wise not to say that to its face.

The Nasty brand of nuts is at least upfront about its singularity disgusting, and only barely nutty, product.

If you're brave enough to eat this you'll be rewarded with negative net calories... and perhaps and upset stomach.

One thing you never want to hear from an apple: silence.

In a certain light. it still looks orange. But then, so do you.

It doesn't taste like good crab, either.

Tastes like being the last person to know about a party.

If you see this mouthwatering pie and fret about weight gain, you need to reexamine your priorities.

This is as good as beer gets. Transforms yourself into a drunken pillar of health and strength with this superhuman brew.

Also known in some circles as the Tenebrous Vintage of Exsanguinated Shadows. An extremely rare and ancient wine made by the first order of monks from the Temple of Shadows. Once used in ritual sacrifices, now sniffed, sipped, and expectorated by the obscenely wealthy.

Thusly named because you'll be turning yellow from the resulting liver damage. 250 proof, tastes like marshmallows.

Caught exclusively by wizened old men, this dish tastes of epic struggle. Delicious, delicious struggle.

This ambrosial, impossibly tender cut will imbue you with the strength of a hundred um, sheep. Still, that's a lot of sheep.

The soft flaky shell cna barely contain the divine cuts of tender beef stuffed inside.

Yes, it's technically a fruit, but that doesn't mean it deserves to be juiced. This watery, vaguely salty concoction is only for the desperate.

High in protein, low in morality.

Cured with the finest salts and aged in rosewood casks guarded by monks who have taken the vows of jerky abstinence.

Made with balverine milk. Just one more reason not having an nose can be as advantage in life.

Even other peanuts don't want to be associated with these loser legumes.

Having lost its crunch, this floppy stalk is as healthy as it is unpleasant.

A lone worm inhabits this apple. It's not a feature, it's just a bug.

Well on its way to getting beaten up by cocktail carrots.

"Delicious" doesn't do justice to this pie. It can fully heal a hero in the midst of combat, and it actually makes you lose weight instead of gain it! As if that weren't enough, the special combination of magical spices give you a hefty experience bonus.

This bland, portable pastry has all the fat of a regular pie with half the flavor.

A little dented and worn, this pre-owned pie is a good starter pastry.

Once a semi-frozen cylinder, now a passable imitation of the real thing.

It's warm and has a coppery taste, a bit like blood.

Nobody knows where the animals whose milk is used to make this cheese are kept. And as long as there's a steady supply tp melt on toast or eat with a nice glass of wine, nobody cares.

Two peanuts were walking down the street, and they were assaulted. They had it coming.

A crunchy, fibrous vegetable which requires more calories to digest than it provides.

This rancid curd is supposedly a delicacy in some parts of Albion. It's covered in sticky slime and has the complex yet playful aroma of dumpster in July.

Stiff, straight, and healthy. It's probably inappropriate to carry in your pocket.

An apple a day keeps the Guildmaster away

Reminds you of childhood. Not yours, obviously. A good childhood.

Salutary and delicious, it's enough to stop you from wondering whose home it was swiped from.

Bananas have no juice to squeeze? Never you mind such trivial details - this sweet concoction is healthful and delicious.

Perfectly drinkable water from a town well.

The peanuts of champions! Or at least the peanuts of the people who sit safely in the stands while the champions get mauled to death.

Soft, pungent, and respectable, you and this cheese get along fine.

The resounding crack this crisp imperator focuses on the mind

Too snobbish to be seen lying among other salad ingredients, this celery is more often seen languidly soaking its stalk in an expensive cocktail.

On its way out, but still nutritious and cleansing.

Someone has buffed this baby to a blinding sheen. The crack as your teeth break the skin will be heard for miles.

Staring transfixed into the indigo glow, you gain a deeper understanding of the universe.

Humanity's first disobedience: Definitely the best one.

Squeezed from clouds, pixies and pure thoughts, this juice is both delectable and extremely healthy.

Clean and pure, collected from the springs in the mountain ranges to the north.

The layer of honeyed gold covering these delicious peanuts is so slight, it melts in your mouth.

It's doubtful real unicorn milk is used to make this delicacy, but its exquisite taste and exorbitant price is enough to convince Albion's higher classes that no other cheese deserves to go on their sandwiches.

This mammoth root glows with a supernatural aura.

Though containing no actual gold, the healthy effect of this delicious fruit are just as precious.

Though a tactful delight for the tongue, and healthy gift for your body, neither will get much taste from this tofu.

This blessed of righteousness is sure to help shed the pounds.

Some people consider this fatty meat pie a delicacy. And that's very sad.

Crystal clear and extraordinarily pure, it tastes better than beer, chocolate and a sack of gold.

The food of choice for hippies everywhere.

Coagulated and pressed in holy water, but the flavor is nothing special.